Raising bilingual kids is one of those things that sounds easy in theory—just speak to them in the target language, and they’ll pick it up, right?
But then reality hits. You start speaking, they nod along… and reply in English. Every time.
One of the biggest frustrations multilingual families face isn’t that their kids don’t understand the second language—it’s that they refuse to speak it. It can feel discouraging, especially when you’re putting in so much effort to create a language-rich environment. You might wonder if it’s worth the struggle or if you’re pushing too hard.
Responding in the target language is a key step toward actual language acquisition. Kids need opportunities to use the language, not just hear it, to make it stick.
Luckily, here’s what I’ve found.
There are proven strategies to gently encourage second language use without turning it into a daily battle.
In this guide, I’m going to lay out everything I know about getting your child to respond in language #2.
Why kids default to their dominant language
What you can do to encourage responses in the second language
Then to apply- but in a way you'll do it this time
Whether your child is a toddler just learning to speak or an older kid who understands but won’t engage, these techniques will help you turn passive understanding into active conversation!
Your Child’s Language Journey
If your child understands the second language but won’t respond in it, take a deep breath—you’re not doing anything wrong. This is actually a normal part of bilingual language development.
Why Kids Default to One Language
Most bilingual children naturally gravitate toward the language that feels easiest to them.
If English (or another majority language) dominates their daily life—at school, with friends, on TV—it makes sense that they’d default to it, even if they fully understand the second language. Kids are practical communicators.
They use what’s most efficient, and if they know you understand both languages, they may not see the need to switch.
The Silent Period: Understanding Before Speaking
If you have a younger child, especially a toddler, you might be in what experts call the silent period. This is when kids are soaking up a new language like a sponge but aren’t yet comfortable using it. They’re processing, listening, and building connections—so while it might feel like they’re ignoring you, their brains are actually working hard.
For older kids who once spoke but now resist using the second language, it could be a confidence issue. They might worry about making mistakes, getting corrected, or feeling “different” from their peers.
This is especially common once they start school, where the dominant language takes over.
Jumpstarting Their Journey
Just because your child isn’t speaking the language yet doesn’t mean they aren’t learning it.
Understanding comes first—active speaking comes later. Your job is to create a space where responding in the second language feels natural, rewarding, and fun.
That’s exactly why Homeschool Languages is designed to get kids talking right away, even during the silent period.
The lessons introduce simple, confidence-boosting phrases that feel easy and natural to repeat—no pressure, just small wins that build over time. For older kids who hesitate to speak, the interactive activities and scripted conversations make it easier to jump in without fear of mistakes.
And that’s exactly what we’ll cover next.
Creating a Supportive Language Environment
Getting your child to respond in a second language isn’t just about what you say—it’s about creating a world where the language belongs. When kids see the language as part of their daily life, not just something for “lessons,” they’ll feel more comfortable using it.
Here’s how to make that happen:
Be Consistent (Even When It Feels Awkward!)
Consistency is key.
If your child knows you’ll always speak the target language, it becomes their default in certain situations. This doesn’t mean you have to be strict 100% of the time—just aim for predictability.
A few ways to reinforce consistency:
✅ Stick to the second language for certain activities (e.g., mealtimes, bedtime stories).
✅ Repeat back what your child says in the target language, modeling the correct response. NOT in a judgey tone :) Just a simple repeat is all that's necessary!
✅ Use simple, high-frequency phrases that naturally fit into your day.
And don’t worry if they answer in English! Keep the conversation flowing while gently encouraging replies in the second language.
Establish Language Routines & Designated Spaces
Kids thrive on routine. If they know when and where the second language is expected, it feels more natural.
Try setting up:
🕰 Language time: Choose a daily routine—like breakfast, bath time, or a morning walk—where you only use the second language.
🏡 Language zones: Some families have a “Spanish-only” kitchen or a “French-only” playroom. Even small things, like labeling household objects in the target language, help reinforce its presence.
🎭 Play-based language moments: Puppets, role-playing, or even assigning a favorite stuffed animal as the “language expert” can make kids more willing to engage.
Expose Kids to Native Speakers & Culture
Hearing a language from you is great. But hearing it from others too? That’s when it clicks. The more your child sees the language as part of the real world, the more motivated they’ll be to use it. (Bonus if it’s kids their age speaking it!!)
Try these three strategies to increase their exposure:
🌍 Connect with native speakers—Even occasional video calls with family members or tutors in the target language can make a big difference.
🎶 Immerse in media—Songs, audiobooks, and cartoons in the second language help build familiarity (and are often more persuasive than parents!).
🎉 Celebrate the culture—Cook traditional dishes, learn about holidays, or attend local cultural events. Language is more meaningful when it’s tied to real experiences.
Dealing with Resistance or Shyness
It’s common for kids to feel hesitant about speaking in a second language. Whether it’s stubborn refusal or quiet shyness, the key is to create an environment where they feel comfortable experimenting without fear of being wrong.
Encouraging Reluctant Speakers
Some kids resist speaking because they don’t see a need for the second language. If they know you understand English, why switch?
One way to gently encourage them is to create natural opportunities where the second language is required—like a game with a “Spanish-speaking” puppet or a conversation with a family member who only speaks the target language.
These three strategies work great:
🎭 Role-playing—Pretend play gives kids a safe space to use the language. Let them “order” food at a pretend restaurant or play the role of the parent telling you to get ready to go!
🎶 Music & movement—Songs with actions encourage participation in a fun, no-pressure way.
📚 Storytelling—Interactive books where they repeat simple phrases can boost confidence.
Side Note: These are all examples of ways Homeschool Languages Curriculum help parents engage their children in their target language.
Building Confidence Over Time
Shyness in a second language isn’t just about language skills—it’s about confidence. Instead of correcting every mistake, celebrate any effort your child makes. Even a single word in the target language is a step forward!
It can also help to make speaking feel like a team effort. If you’re learning the language alongside them, let them see you try (and even struggle) too. Knowing that mistakes are part of the process makes it easier for them to take risks.
The more positive, pressure-free interactions they have, the more likely they are to start using the language naturally. And when that first spontaneous response finally happens?
It’ll all be worth it!
Bringing the Language into Everyday Life
At first, it might feel like you’re doing all the heavy lifting—initiating conversations, modeling responses, and repeating yourself more times than you’d like.
But one day, seemingly out of nowhere, your child will surprise you.
They’ll ask for a snack in Spanish. They’ll answer a question in French. They’ll start singing a song they’ve heard a dozen times in the second language.
This is how it happens!
Not with a grand “aha” moment, but through small, consistent steps that add up over time. Because of the work you’re putting in, your child isn’t just memorizing words; they’re building the habit of using them.
You’re guiding them to respond naturally, little by little, until the language sneaks into your daily life without forcing it.
You don’t have to recreate a full-immersion environment or do everything perfectly. By simply incorporating bite-sized conversations, playful interactions, and predictable routines, you’re creating a home where the second language belongs.
And when it belongs, kids use it.
That’s exactly why Homeschool Languages exists—to make this process easier, more natural, and way less stressful for parents. With built-in conversation prompts, engaging activities, and a step-by-step approach, you’ll start seeing your child not just understand the language—but actually speak it.
And once that happens, the real magic begins.
So keep going.
Keep modeling, keep inviting, keep making it fun. Because the day they start responding without thinking about it? That’s the day you know it’s working.
👉 Ready to start? Check out Homeschool Languages and try your first 10 lessons for free.
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