Why Raising Bilingual Kids is Hard | And How to Make It Easier
- Homeschool Languages
- Apr 29
- 9 min read
When I first set out to raise bilingual kids, I thought it would be as simple as just speaking to them in Spanish.
Everyone says kids are sponges, right? Surround them with the language and poof—they’ll magically start speaking… right?
Well, not quite.
I tried speaking Spanish here and there, but the moment I hit a word I didn’t know, I’d freeze. Back to English I went. I tried TV shows and apps, but my son wasn’t interested. I bought all the cute language-learning toys, only to watch them gather dust on the shelf.
My wake-up call?
One day, my four-year-old looked me dead in the eye and started making up his own words in response. Not even trying, just winging it.
That’s when I realized, if I wanted my kids to actually use the language, I needed a better plan.
Through lots of trial, error, and yes, frustration, I figured out what actually works. Not just for my family, but for tons of other parents walking the same road. Whether you’re homeschooling or just trying to add more language into your everyday life, I’ll walk you through the biggest myths, real challenges, and practical strategies that truly help kids start speaking.
The Most Common Bilingual Parenting Methods (+ Their Pros & Cons)
One Parent, One Language (OPOL)
The One Parent, One Language (OPOL) method means each parent consistently speaks a different language to the child. It’s a great way to raise bilingual kids, but it can feel overwhelming if you're the only parent reinforcing the minority language. Kids naturally gravitate toward the dominant language, especially if both parents communicate in it.
I struggled with this, despite knowing Spanish, my husband and I defaulted to English, so my kids followed suit. If you’re the only one teaching the language, OPOL can feel isolating.
How to Make It Work
Immerse Yourself First – If you're carrying the weight of OPOL alone, surround yourself with the language. Change your phone settings, read books, and watch shows in Spanish (or your target language) so it becomes second nature to switch over.
Ease Into It – If you haven’t been using OPOL from birth, switching overnight is unrealistic. Kids might resist, so take a gradual approach. Start by mixing Spanish and English, pointing out what you’re saying, and making connections.
Use the “Language Sandwich” Technique – Say something in Spanish, repeat it in English for clarity, then say it again in Spanish. This keeps communication smooth and prevents frustration. OPOL shouldn’t feel like a battle, it’s about connection.
Create “Language Zones” – Set specific times or places where only the target language is spoken (e.g., meals, bedtime).
Use a Puppet or Character – My son wouldn’t speak Spanish to me, but he’d happily talk to a puppet that “only understood Spanish.” 😉
Find Other Speakers – Playdates, caregivers, or even video calls with native speakers can help reinforce the language.
Follow a Guided Curriculum – If your child resists, structured lessons can help ease them into OPOL. Our curriculum provides step-by-step guidance to make the transition smoother for both of you.
OPOL isn’t the only way, if it doesn’t fit your family, tweak it! The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. The best method is the one that keeps your child engaged and speaking.
Minority Language at Home (MLAH)
The Minority Language at Home (MLAH) method means the entire family speaks the second language at home while using the dominant language outside. This consistent exposure helps kids build fluency naturally. But once they start school, they might resist, answering in the dominant language even when spoken to in the minority language. (I’ve been there, my son started answering me in English, no matter how much Spanish I used!)
How to Keep Kids Engaged
Make It Part of Daily Life – Instead of forcing the language, guide your kids into using it with you. Our vocabulary units focus on everyday situations, like getting in the car, looking for something, or even saying prayers, so Spanish (or your target language) naturally becomes part of your routine.
Try Saying That in Spanish! – If your child replies in English, don't force a response. Instead, casually model the phrase and have them repeat it. This takes the pressure off and helps them absorb the language without frustration.
Create Low-Pressure Practice – Instead of demanding answers, try this: "Here’s the first word, you know it!" A simple prompt helps them complete the sentence without feeling put on the spot.
Expose Them to Real Conversations – Play-based interactions, storytelling, and engaging with other speakers (whether through bilingual friends, caregivers, or TV) help reinforce the minority language.
MLAH is about making the language feel natural, fun, and useful in daily life. The goal? Getting your kids to use it with you, little by little, until it becomes second nature.
Mixing Languages Based on Context
Some families take a flexible approach, switching languages based on the situation. For example, they might use the minority language at home but switch to the dominant language for school-related discussions. This method allows for natural communication and fits well in multilingual households.
However, flexibility can sometimes lead kids to favor one language, usually the dominant one, because it feels easier or more "useful." I noticed this with my own children; when Spanish felt optional, they defaulted to English.
But here’s the thing.
Perfect balance between two languages isn’t realistic (or necessary). Bilingual speakers don’t split their languages 50/50, and that’s okay.
How to Keep the Minority Language Active
Set Clear Contexts – Instead of aiming for “balance,” focus on gathering as much of the minority language as possible in daily life. Use it for specific activities (e.g., Spanish for meals, English for homework) so it stays relevant.
Use the “Redo” Trick – If your child answers in English, don’t treat it as a failure, just pause and try again. A quick, “Oh, you know that in Spanish! Let’s say it again,” keeps the conversation flowing without making English the default.
Normalize Code-Switching – Mixing languages is not a problem, it’s how bilingual brains work! Instead of correcting, model complete sentences in the target language to naturally reinforce it.
Bilingualism isn’t about forcing a perfect split between two languages. The key is making sure the minority language isn’t just heard, but actively used, little by little, in everyday moments.
What Worked for Me as a Non-Native Speaker
When I started teaching my kids Spanish, I thought I had an advantage, I knew the language. But knowing it and confidently speaking it all day with my kids? Two very different things. Every time I hit a word I didn’t know, I’d freeze. My kids sensed my hesitation and stuck to English, so I did too!
I tried everything, TV shows, apps, even those cute subscription boxes, but nothing got my kids speaking. That’s when I realized: memorizing words wasn’t enough. They needed a reason to use the language in everyday life.
What finally worked?
A structured, play-based system that encouraged natural responses. Instead of drilling vocabulary, I started using high-frequency phrases.
Do you want this?Look at that!Can I have…?
Phrases my kids actually needed. I built lessons around things they loved, making Spanish feel useful, not forced.
Parents don’t need another tool; they need a clear, step-by-step system that makes language part of everyday life. That’s exactly why we created Homeschool Languages, to give families an easy way to bring bilingualism into their home, without the guesswork.
The Biggest Challenges (And How to Overcome Them)
“My Child Understands But Won’t Speak”
One of the most frustrating moments as a parent is when your child clearly understands the second language but refuses to use it. I went through this with my son, he’d nod when I spoke Spanish, but when it was his turn? Straight to English.
What helped: I made Spanish non-negotiable but fun. I introduced a puppet that only understood Spanish, so if he wanted to play, he had to use the language. Role-playing games, silly storytelling, and predictable routines (“Say this before you get a snack!”) gave him confidence to start speaking.
The “I Feel Like I’m Too Late” Syndrome
Many parents worry they missed the window for bilingual learning. I get it, I didn’t really commit until my son was four. But here’s the truth: Kids can learn a second language at any age. The key is creating consistent, meaningful exposure.
Younger kids soak up sounds effortlessly, but older kids understand why language is useful. Whether they’re 3, 7, or 10, making the language part of daily life, through conversations, music, and games, helps them thrive.
“I’m Not Fluent, Can I Still Teach My Kid?”
Absolutely! Many bilingual families learn alongside their children. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to show up.
How to make it work: Use scripted lessons (like the ones in Homeschool Languages) so you don’t have to make things up on the spot. Listen to native speakers through audiobooks or YouTube, and embrace mistakes, kids learn best when they see that you’re learning too!
The Strategies That Actually Work (From a Parent Who Tried Everything)
Start With Conversational Phrases, Not Vocabulary Lists
When I first started teaching my kids Spanish, I made the classic mistake, I focused on individual words instead of useful phrases. Sure, my son could say rojo and manzana, but that didn’t mean he could ask for the red apple.
Kids don’t need to memorize long word lists; they need language they can use. Instead of drilling flashcards, I started with real-life phrases:
Quiero eso (I want that)
¿Puedo tener…? (Can I have…?)
Mira esto (Look at this!)
Once my kids saw that Spanish helped them get what they wanted (hello, snack time), they started speaking more.
The trick? Make the language immediately useful.
If they’re playing with toys, teach “I need that” before teaching colors. If they love animals, start with “Look at the dog!” instead of the whole zoo’s worth of vocabulary.
This approach makes bilingualism feel natural, not like another school subject.
Play-Based Learning Beats Worksheets
If there’s one thing I learned the hard way, it’s that worksheets don’t make kids speak. I tried activity books, tracing letters in Spanish, even cute flashcard games, none of it got my son talking.
What finally worked? Play.
I introduced a puppet that only understood Spanish. If my son wanted the puppet to play along, he had to use Spanish, even if it was just one word at a time. Suddenly, speaking wasn’t a chore, it was fun. Whether it’s role-playing, scavenger hunts, or silly songs, kids learn best through interaction, not drills.
Create a Low-Pressure Language Environment
When kids feel pressured to perform in a new language, they shut down. I saw it firsthand, if I corrected every mistake, my son would stop trying altogether.
So I stopped focusing on “getting it right” and made speaking the goal, not perfection. If he mixed Spanish and English? No problem. If he mispronounced a word? I repeated it back naturally instead of correcting him. Confidence comes before fluency, once kids feel safe using the language, real learning happens.
Leverage Books, Music, and Games
Want to make a language stick? Surround your kids with it.
Bilingual bedtime stories with simple questions (“What do you think happens next?”) encouraged my kids to respond in Spanish. Playing high-energy music in the target language got them singing along without even realizing they were learning. Even something as simple as a “Simon Says” game in Spanish reinforced commands and movement.
The more fun language feels, the more kids will want to use it, no flashcards required.
Start Raising a Bilingual Child Today - Here’s How
If Your Child is 0-3 Years Old
At this stage, kids absorb language effortlessly, but only if they hear it a lot. Instead of formal lessons, focus on daily exposure:
Narrate everything – “Ahora vamos a cambiar el pañal” (Now we’re going to change your diaper).
Sing and read – Simple books and nursery rhymes in the target language introduce natural rhythms and phrases.
Use repetition – The more they hear a phrase, the more likely they are to understand and use it.
If Your Child is 4-7 Years Old
This is the golden age for learning through play. Kids love interaction, so make the language a natural part of life:
Use real-life scenarios – Instead of saying, Cuchara means spoon, ask, “Can you hand me the cuchara?”
Play interactive games – “Simón dice” (Simon Says) and scavenger hunts in the target language get kids moving and speaking.
Encourage storytelling – Let kids describe what they see or tell silly stories using words they know.
If Your Child is 8+ Years Old
Older kids need real-world motivation to use the language. Help them see its value by making it useful:
Introduce language challenges – Order food in the target language at a restaurant or write a shopping list in Spanish.
Use media wisely – Watch shows with subtitles in the target language, not English. If they love a game or book series, find it in the second language.
Let them lead – Give them choices: Would they rather text a friend in Spanish, play a bilingual game, or learn song lyrics? Ownership keeps them engaged.
No matter your child’s age, the goal isn’t perfection, it’s participation. Start small, be consistent, and most importantly, make it fun!
You Can Raise a Bilingual Child, And We’re Here to Help
Raising bilingual kids isn’t about perfection, it’s about creating opportunities for them to hear, use, and enjoy the language. Some days will feel effortless, and others will feel like pulling teeth (trust me, I’ve been there). But every small effort adds up.
If you’re looking for a step-by-step, open-and-go curriculum that makes bilingual learning easy, especially for busy parents or those who aren’t fluent, Homeschool Languages was designed for you. Our lessons fit right into your daily routine, helping kids speak naturally from the start.
You don’t have to do this alone. Join other parents who are making their homes bilingual, one conversation at a time. Because the best time to start? Right now.
Let’s go!
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